Diary Time!
by XFireVixenX
Summary: What it would be like if Ren and Horo wrote diaries about their days.. but what if one was in love with the other and someone found these diaries. HxR please RxR
1. Am I Serious

**What life would be like, If Ren and Horo kept diaries. Just to find out that each other do actually complete one another. Oh times are gaining on them and I wonder if this will ever blossom out into love. Well you'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter when Horo finally finds Ren. RxR please!!**

**DIARYS **_- _

**ROV **

Dear Diary,

Today is the _20TH__ August 2009_and now I begin.

So there I was lying on the bed next to the girl I thought I loved, thinking about him.. Always about him, he just seemed to have that something, that something that just, gave me that edge to keep going, and melted my heart like butter. He never knew how I truly felt, but.. Did I know my true feelings as well?

When I was with him I never wanted him to leave. However at times he could be, how can I see this in a nice way.. He could be really vexing. How could I tell this bone head, what I was truly feeling and thinking about him. How could I tell his sister that I didn't love her, but her brother.. So many thoughts that confused me to all hell. The worst thought of all was, what would Yoh and the others think of me, and what about my family they would disown me. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing I had to, no matter what, to keep my feelings to myself and just carry on "loving" Pirika..

Sighing I sat up from my bed and turned to see Pirika. I smiled as she carried on in her deep sleep so contently. I brushed my hand across her warm cheek, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. I sighed, thinking about how I would be able to carry on with this lie. But how could I hurt her! I wasn't willing to hurt anymore people. Turning my head tiredly I looked at the clock.

"_6.. God damn it, it's so early" _

I slipped out of bed pulling on a pair of jeans a white shirt with an open shirt over it. I knew that, as soon as I got downstairs I would see that stupid smile on Yoh's face, drinking orange juice after his morning jog. However with much luck he had dozed off on the kitchen table. Thank god because honestly I don't think I'd be mentally stable right now with Horo and Pirika on the brain.

As I stepped into the kitchen and suddenly the cold floor shot up my feet like ice.. Ice, I smiled faintly thinking about Horo again, why did everything always have to remind me of him, and before I knew it.. He was on my mind again I stood there, as still as a statue at the kitchen door and without realising that this day.. This week even was going to be very, very strange.. And before I knew it Hao, Yoh and Horo were all looking at me trying to figure out what was wrong. But once someone had mentioned his name. "_Well Horo…" _. I suddenly snapped out of the trance and turned to them all. Hao was looking at me, his finger tapping his chin. I felt like a patient being analysed..

I blinked turning to all three of them, my eyes only focused upon Horo's. The only thing that I could do to keep myself cool was repeat this over and over again it was my only hope '_**Alright.. Play it cool Tao..**_' but as soon as he flashed that smile my heart pounded and I could feel myself flushing. I had to do something to divert their attention, especially Horo's. Unfortunately, I think my luck was running out as Hao had that look in his eyes, I think he knows. He had that annoying grin that spread right across his face. He wasn't the stupid one out of the three and that was a given.

"_Ren.. Buddy, What's up?" _Hao.. The nerve of the guy, he's like a lion and I'm the zebra, waiting for a weak moment too take me down. But not today after all the years I've stayed strong against all his attempts to break me down, I can take his hits and stress and worry about it later. So for the moment it was a do or die situation. One stutter and he'll have me for his breakfast. Alright, think.. Think Tao think.

And with that, I turned to Hao ready for anything.. I hoped "_Well now, this is a surprise. I mean you're not one for conversations. Unless, it's some gossip.." _and in that split second I saw something rather odd. For a split second Hao's grinning chimp look, had flashed to what looked like a seriously concerned person. But maybe I was just imagining things.. So, shaking that out of my head I gave them all my winning look, the cold death glare, and right on queue they all took a step back.

"_So, if I were you I'd stay well away, because I have nothing to hide and you have nothing to gain from it." _and with all that said and done, taking a quick glance at Horo I headed back upstairs. Missing breakfast again.

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**HOV**

Sup, I start today by saying happy 19th, woops mean the 20th. Anyway down to what happened this morning..

Right so I woke up, as usual yeah and looked down at Tammy as she lay there so perfectly and sound asleep, gently kissing her trying not to wake her cause damn she's such a light sleeper. Honestly it's really annoying most of the time, but that wasn't the weirdest part of the day. So I pulled on my shorts and a blue and black shirt. Sorted out my hair and pinned it back with my headband, as usual yeah. But something seemed slightly odd today I'm not sure what it might have been, maybe I had an upset stomach or a nasty crap that hadn't come out yet since I did eat tonnes last night. Hey but anyway.. I knew something was going to happen today that might change the way I live.. Or the way I see someone but, I slowly turned the knob and flung the bedroom door open and starring back at me was another open door and a hallway with non-other then posh, posh Mr I'm too cool for school.. (Ok, wow I haven't said that since I was a little tot, ha, Anyway back to business) well there he was apart from this time looking at him from behind he seemed.. Kinda.. Lost, He definitely had something on his mind that looked like it was troubling him.. And he did kinda look kinda.. I guess a little bit cute.. Oh man I really must be tired if I think Ren looks good looking. And with that I shrugged everything off and followed after him but only to be stopped by Hao.. With a door in my face. Man he sure has ways of making you know he's there. And with that.. Through the whole house was a loud *BANG* and I toppled down to the floor and onto my ass, rubbing my nose in pain and glaring at the Asakura for his "Funny" joke he eventually helped back up to my feet, and I could still see Ren slowly heading down the stairs and after a good couple of minutes of tear drenching laughter.

"_Alright, now after all that you better have a good reason for stopping me" _

"_Well you see.. I'm bored and since today is like a Thursday, then that means that it's almost Friday and Saturday.."_

"_Yeah.. And?" _

"_Well you see, this means it's almost time for another party and you know what happens at parties.. Girls, booze, games and well girls!" _Shaking my head at the idiot, I diverted my attention to the stairs and Ren wasn't there anymore, well duh! Obviously.. He's probably outside by now and I really wanted to ask him how he was. I looked back up to Hao who was looking at me so happily.. I just patted him on the shoulder and laughed.

"_Well lets just see what Anna and Yoh have to say about that, come on buddy lets get some grub in our stomachs before deciding anything" _I put my right arm around the back of Hao's neck and we headed downstairs chatting away about random things.. Women, weather the good times of the shaman tournament. Boy, Hao does talk about random things. Although our conversation came to a stand still when we say Ren just standing there at the kitchen door, Yoh had tempted to bring him back around by waving his hands in front of the Chinese boys face, and clicking his fingers, whistling and even banging pots together but nothing had pulled him out of his daydream.. And here I thought that Ren never went into daydreams he was always on the ball, constantly awake at all times, what was on his mind that made him like this.. It must be something really important like maybe an international war, or perhaps.. Something to do with his dad and the Tao family. Well whatever it was I was going to stand by him and try and help out, even if he disagreed as he always did. But his daydream was soon cut off by non-other then Hao's loud voice.. It had to be him that took Ren out that reverie.

"_Hey, pointy head seems to be brain damaged_" with a loud laugh after. Yoh looked to Ren then tilted his head to the side, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"_Well.. What do you thinks wrong with him?" _I looked at him up and down.. Maybe he was just cold. Maybe the cold floor caught him by surprise or something.

and right then Ren turned to all three of us.. Hao opened his mouth and tapped his finger on his chin "_Well Horo…" _I don't know what it was but just then Ren seemed to turn to all three of us. Although he wasn't looking at Hao and Yoh his eyes were fixed onto mine. Now, from the time he stared at me to the time he headed upstairs after the glare there must have been some words passed between Ren and Hao. But for some reasons, unknown to me, I just couldn't hear it.. It was as if everything just stopped because when Ren turned and fixated his eyes upon mine, I couldn't help but smile and I realised something.. The way he was looking at me he looked so calm, happy and just not the Ren I know. He seemed like he needed me for something, like I was the only person who could stop his pain. What really confused me though was as soon as I did smile his face seemed a little more pink.. I think he was blushing.. But what made him blush, maybe something Hao said because a few seconds later he was giving us all that annoyingly cold and eerie death glare, I swear if looks could kill I would have died a million times cause he always gives me those dagger eyes. But even still taking a step back and watching Ren leave I couldn't but see those eyes those amazing golden, cat like orbs that just seemed to hit me square in the face.. Ren didn't seem dangerous, he just looked lost. He just needs, someone to help him along and who to do that but me. Smiling and looking back at Hao and Yoh I knew that as a best friend of Ren's I had to help the little fella along.

"_Ren seems even more agitated then usual.." _Yoh headed back into the kitchen sitting down at the table again and sighing to himself, so I wasn't the only one who noticed something else was different in the Tao.

"_Oh come on, it's just Ren. I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe Pirika just isn't given out" _

"_Just shut up Hao.. that's my little sister you're talking about_" and with that I nudged passed him and headed into the kitchen to make Ren some grub. Since he usually misses out on meals I think he's getting skinner.. Maybe that's his problem he isn't eaten so he's getting grumpy.

So I began to make a full English breakfast since Lyserg had taught me how to I was prepared for anything that came my way.. Except after what Hao had said I once again turned off my brain I couldn't be arsed to listen to his crap about Pirika and Ren getting it on. It always pissed me off when someone even mentioned Pirika and sex in the same conversation. But once they added Ren into the equation my blood just boiled up and I couldn't control my anger. I mean I like Ren and all since one day he might be my brother-in-law. But I don't know what it was I mean I don't hate him.. But when he's mentioned with Pirika it just I get upset or mad. Or angry I don't know maybe it's just instincts to protect Pirika and hope she has the best thing. Since Ren is really great and when Pirika says about some of the things he does.. He seems really romantic at times and nice. He just hides his true self from others, and I swear to god I'll break that wall of his and make him a bit more outgoing.

So as I prepared the breakfast I ran to the foot of the stairs and shouted Ren down. But nothing was heard.. Although about 5 minutes ago I did hear the house door open and close loudly.. I just thought it was Anna or someone. But a few moments after shouting Ren down Pirika made her way downstairs, her eyes were slightly red and puffy. She's been crying..

Did her and Ren have a fight.. Was it something Hao said.. Or is it something to do with why Ren's acting all strange and given out those kind looks.. He's.. oh no.. he might be dying..

"_Horo…" _Pirika gripped onto my shirt, she buried her head into my shoulder and started to sob. I gently patted her on the head and she looked up to me with those sad eyes. I just held onto her head and patted her on the back.

"_Don't worry Pirika, you don't have to explain.. I'll just go and find Ren.. Ok_" So this day was going to be harder then I thought, Pirika looked up to me with hope in her eyes and started to smile a bit more. Obviously a big brothers got to do what a big brothers meant to, help out his younger sister when in trouble. So I ended up heading out the house and looking about for that stupid Tao.. Honestly he could be anywhere by now.

**Right now I hoped you enjoyed that, I know there may be some mistakes at places cause I'm really not that good and getting what I'm thinking out. I'm better at imaging rather then writing although I love to write just words can't come out. But I hoped you like that and the next chapter will be up sometime. I can't promise it fast because I don't have the internet so it'll take time. Well please Read and Review. don't worry about being too harsh on me I really want to improve so just give me the verdict and I'll try and advance on my other stories and chapters! Thank you all!! Love, Love!! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, it's finally here.. Not sure what you'll think about it.. And I know it's taken me sometime to write it but I've just been too busy with sorting out college, and money problems.. And living conditions. Thank you all for waiting though and I hope I don't put you down too much with this new chapter, since it did take me some time to finally post it.. **

**Diaries**

**Ren's POV: 20/08/09**

Letting out a heavy sigh, I walked back into the bedroom, Pirika was still sound asleep. Good, because I honestly couldn't handle anymore of this torture, I have to get out of this damn stuffy house and just have some time to myself and forget that damn Ainu. I nodded to myself, as I pulled on my jumper trying to be as quiet as I possibly could, but then.. _eeeek,_ I cringed, as the stupid noisy closet door had shut with a hell of a noise, and there as if on queue she rose from her slumber. '_Great.. Just great_.'

"Ren?" She rubbed her eyes gently and tried ever so hard to focus on my every movement. "What.. Are you doing?"

I couldn't believe my luck, I mean honestly how worse could this day get. "I'm going out.. Just go back to sleep alright" I turned to head to the door, but suddenly I felt something hit the back of my head, which caused me to stop in my tracks and turn round to the angry Ainu that sat on the bed. Raising a brow I looked down to my feet where my pillow lay, she threw a pillow at me?! '_Oh boy_..' I sighed again and looked back to her angry expression. "Pirika.. Don't you think that was a little childish!" I didn't need this right now, I had to get out this house no matter what.

"Ren, you can't just tell me your going out, and tell me to go to sleep!" by this point she had already pulled on her clothes, boy that was truly fast. She came right up to me, standing on the pillow and taking my hands.. This was always an issue, I always fell for this part but not today, today I had other things on my mind and I wasn't going to let Pirika change what I was feeling and had to do. So, I forcefully pulled away from her, narrowing my eyes I just shot her a nasty look I had to do something to show her that I wasn't taking anything from anyone anymore and I just had to go out by myself. And there it was, that look of sudden realisation and slight hurt. She stepped back away from me and her eyes started to water up, '_Drama Queen' _rolling my eyes I turned back to the door.

"As I said, I'm going out.. Now just go back to bed" And without even given her a second chance to say anything or stop me, I was heading down the stairs, pausing a moment as I saw Horo in the kitchen. That idiot was always so hungry, as if he never cared for anyone. Looking away slightly upset I headed to the door and out the house. It was bliss as the fresh air hit me in the face, that crisp cold smell that always meant that winter was nearing, as though it was just around the corner. Rubbing my fingers together I held them up to my mouth and gently blew on them. Then began my journey, god knows where I was going as long as it was anywhere far away from the inn and the others and especially him.

A couple of hours had passed, and I had eventually found a place to sit, under a tree. I know, stupid huh… stealing this idea from Yoh it did help me think about a few things and clear my mind, but also looking out at the water that I could vaguely see in the distance gave me a calming feeling.. Water and the fresh smell of winter approaching reminded me so much of the Ainu. Faintly smiling I pulled my legs into my chest and closed my eyes, and for the first time in a long time I let my mind wonder free, free to do as it wanted. And to no surprise it was him.. All about him, us talking, us laughing, us fighting and us together, holding hands and well being the perfect world in my mind.. Others would disagree and I wasn't willing to hurt Pirika. How could you tell your girlfriend that you're not in love with her but her brother.

I don't know what I thought but sitting looking out at the scenery just made me relax, and unfortunately for me my guard was down and my observation. I hadn't realised that he was standing there watching me, he had said my name a few times but I was just too in my own little world that I never heard him. Until I felt his body near mine, his hand upon mine and I closed my eyes tightly imagining us together again. I thought this was all a dream holding him close to me again. Until.. "Ren, Pirika's worried about you"

'_Pirika_' and just like that. I suddenly snapped out my daze, and turning to face him. His eyes were fixed upon me, but when my eyes locked onto his I could feel my face flushing and I couldn't stop it. "Pir..ika"

He raised his brow and gave me such a worried look "What's up Ren? You seem.. Kinda out of it"

I tried saying something but I just couldn't stop looking and concentrating on the worried look in Horo's eyes. Was that worry for me.. or his sister.. Suddenly my heart jumped an extra beat and I started to feel so sick, what.. Is this feeling why was this happening.

Horo sat down next to me and I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything. All I could do was sit and look down at the grass. Trying to stop this burning sensation in my heart, but what surprised me the most was the fact that I hadn't noticed that my vision was starting to become blurry, and my eyes were getting more wet. '_am.. I.. crying.._'. I tightly gripped onto my trousers, Horo continued to talk, scratch his head and look away from me. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't move my legs.. And my body just wouldn't move '_Leave..' _I.. can't, I just can't move '_Get up.. Now'_ By this point some water had escaped from the sides of my eyes and down my cheeks, '_why are you crying?'_

This stupid feeling, stupid way I act around you, why can't I just be left in peace this isn't how I feel, I don't love you I don't.. I know I don't.. I had suddenly forgotten all about the tears that had escaped from the cages of my eyes. However Horo hadn't forgotten about my tears when I felt this warm hand grip onto mine tightly and those words that made everything seem like, yes it really would be alright.

"Don't worry Ren.." Don't worry.. Yes don't worry I have nothing to worry about especially when you're here, because I'm always happen when you're here..

"Don't worry cause, I'm sure Pirika will take you back" and, there at that moment my heart had shattered. Pirika… Pirika.. that's all he thought about.. Pirika and I.. not him and I.. but her and I. '_Why.. Can't you just tell me that you love me_'

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**Well I hope that wasn't too much of a disappointment, I kept on getting side tracked, and having writers block. Bah, no excuses huh! Haha ^_^ and I know it's smaller then the last one but I think this will be a bit more of an easier read haha. **

**The chapter I realise as well got really long, so I've decided to put Horo's POV in the next chapter and see how it all works out after that. **

**Please RxR.. And as always, Horo and Ren foreva and eva!**


	3. Horo's POV

-1**Alright here's the chapter of Horo.. Now I know it's late but I've just been so busy and had a writers block.. Please RxR!!**

**Diaries**

**Horo's POV: 20/08/09**

What the hell was I thinking.. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair and slightly shivering from the cold breeze that seemed to just appear around me. After looking about for several minutes I decided that sitting down and thinking was a bit more smarter. As walking about would just be a waste of time. But I honestly couldn't think of where Ren would go. Seriously what was I thinking just putting my foot in and telling Pirika that I'd find him. I moaned quietly to my self and looked up at the clouds. I really wish I was snowboarding right now, I closed my eyes and smiled faintly thinking about it. '_Ah.. Fresh breeze, wind in my hair_' I blinked snapping out of my happy place, and for some odd reason, just then, I knew where Ren might be.. But, it was a long shot I mean seriously how on earth was I meant to know where Ren would be. He was probably half way to China by now. I sighed heavily, forcing myself up off the bench. Pirika better appreciate this. I mean me of all people to go and find Ren. I shook my head trying to forget about it and made my way down through some fields and off the main road.

Not long after leaving the main road I could see a small figure in the distance sitting down below a tree. He looked so small and innocent, that.. Couldn't be Ren.. Could it?. I raised a brow and cautiously approached, if it was Ren then he would be able to feel and sense me in seconds. But this guy just sat, not moving at all. As I approached the figure I could see it truly was Ren. What was in that boys mind. It had to be something serious. I sighed then shook my head. Right I have to choose my words properly. Well I guess.. I scratched my head in confusion, how could this be so hard.. It's just Ren. Ren the boy I always have things to say to.. But this time.. I sighed deeply "Ren, Pirika's worried about you"

I couldn't but help watch him, and I couldn't help but be seriously worried. He wasn't his usual self. I scanned his face and body gestures for anything that would let me help him in anyway possible. He quickly looked at me and I swear he was blushing, his cute little rosy cheeks. '_What..' _Ok.. No idea where that came from. But when Ren finally spoke he was confused, and I could tell something was seriously up..

"Pir..ika" I kept on scanning his face with worry. '_Ren.. This wasn't like you, why can't you just tell me things'. _I shook my head gently still looking at him worried "What's up Ren? You seem .. Kinda out of it."

I raised a brow as he scanned my face.. Was it something that I've done that's hurt him.. But as soon as he looked back down to his knees I knew something had to definitely be up.. This wasn't the Ren I know. Maybe it had something to do with his family. Alright well I guess I'll just have to cheer him up and show him that he can talk to me. I sat down beside him then leaned up against the tree with my hands on the back of my head and smiled putting on a brave face for him. "Well lets not think about Pirika for now.. Yeah?" I waited a minute and glanced to Ren hoping for a reply but he really was in his own little world now. I fidgeted nervously trying to think of more things to say. "Maybe we could just stay away from there for now.. And just hang out here if that's what you really want".. I sighed still getting no response.. What was I meant to say now.. If I couldn't get anything out of him, scratching my head again I looked out to the view trying to get some inspiration and think of more things to talk about. '_Maybe the water.. Or the view.. Yeah the view'. _"You know, I never thought that you would come here.. I mean it was pure luck that I found you here.. I could have been searching everywhere but something just told me that it was here" I smiled and looked to Ren. My eyes widened surprised as tears rolled down Ren's cheeks, oh god.. It really is serious to make Ren cry.. Why.. Is he crying. '_Ren please talk to me.. I want to know and help you.. I want to be the shoulder you can cry on.. Not Pirika or the others..' _I felt like this before.. But to me I just thought it was friendship not what I expected to happen. I quickly put my hand on top of his and gripped it tightly. My body just seemed to act on it's own. I just really wanted Ren to stop crying.. I wanted to make him better and things to be great for him, but I had no idea what to say and I couldn't back off as I had already started by taking a hold of his hand.. So I had to say the first thing I could think of..

"Don't worry Ren" I gave him a reassuring smile and the tears seemed to have slowly stopped, woah ok maybe saying that was all he needed.. Glancing down at my hand on his I blushed then shook my head trying to regain the myself I had to see if what I was feeling were the same feelings as his.. "Don't worry cause, I'm sure Pirika will take you back…" pausing at that moment before carrying on the rest of my sentence I could see and feel by the twitch of Ren's hand that mentioning Pirika's name really did something to Ren. So was it something she had done to him.. Or something he had done to her.. But that look in his eyes and his features told me.. That Ren really didn't like what I had just said, and I could see the water building back up in his eyes. '_Ren.. I love you, so please forgive me for what I'm about to do next_' I took in a deep breath before pulling Ren towards me a little more then quickly change the course by grabbing both his hands, then forcing him back up against the tree as I sat in front of him. I blushed madly but this had to be done

"Ren"

Ren's eyes widened and he looked up at me surprised and shocked, but he didn't struggle, there was confusion, fear, hope and sadness all at once in his eyes. How could I have not noticed the pain you were carrying.. What was this burden you had that you couldn't even share with me. Ren's eyes scanned my face, and he gulped hard blushing madly. He was cute, very cute and I knew in my heart that this was the right choice. That we were meant to be together so now was the only moment to see if he felt the same way.

I smirked looking into his golden eyes and couldn't help but fall more in love with him, like the first time we met "Ren.. You can tell me anything you know" he slowly glanced up at me confused again. But the fact that he wasn't struggling from my grasp, had already told me he was mine.. It was just getting him to admit it, Maybe.. I smiled even more then leaned in closing my eyes and kissed him on the lips, gripping his wrists tighter expecting him to pull back and shout something lie 'You baka Ainu, get your mitts off of me, Kisama' but my eyes widened as Ren relaxed a lot more allowing himself to be pinned back against the tree trunk and kissed me back. I scanned his face then smiled slightly as his eyes were closed with the last of his tears falling from his eyes. He was mine and I wasn't going to let Pirika have him any longer.

* * *

Not sure when the next chapter will come out.. But there will probably be only another 2 or 3 left to do.. So I hope you enjoyed it and please pm me or e-mail comments.


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